Sunday, September 21, 2008

It could have only been worst if it rained.

It all started last night. I thought it was going to be a fun night at the sister-in-laws house for a BBQ. It started out fine we were drinking eating and having a fun time. Now I have always been well I think the best way to put it is I am not a people person. So one of Shane's sisters are alike on that and we don't like a lot of people. We started talking during dinner and couldn't stand some of the other people that were around and decided that we should go out back and have a smoke. This became a game for us when we don't want to be around other people we would say our code word to each other and go somewhere else. That wasn't bad when it got bad was when Shane told them we would spend the night. I don't know about all you other people but I can't stay at someone elses house. Not when I don't really know the person. I know them but not really well. I wouldn't not have slept I would have been up all night quietly freaking out in my mind. When I told Shane he got mad really mad I had told him earlier that I didn't want to spend the night and he was like oh come on please I didn't say anything and he assumed that I had folded. But I couldn't make myself sit up all night crying and trying to look like I was okay. I have never been able to stay at someone else's house that I don't really know in fact I couldn't do many sleep overs when I was a kid. So after I told him that I couldn't do it and he knew I wasn't going to fold he didn't talk to me after that. Thats when I knew that I was screwed for the rest of the night. I did however think that the worst was over. I thought today would be a clean slate and we would be normal and he would have forgotten about yesterday. NOPE!

I get out of bed this morning to find an angry man who had a hangover (although he would never admit to the hangover). We sat in silence for about an hour because I am tired of being the one he is pissed at so I didn't want to give him anything to be mad at me about. (this makes him sound like an ass all the time he isn't every day i must say that because he is not always this bad..) Then the one friend he has that hates everything about me called (and I mean he really hates me. He told Shane to leave me and find someone who is not as fat and isn't such a bitch) and wanted to take shane out and play paint ball. Now any other day I wouldn't care but we had to clean up A LOT. So he asked if I wouldn't mind if he goes and I said that we have lots to do around the house. That and he still has $100 owing for rent. So I didn't think that would be the best thing to do. Well that sent him into absolute quiet. I tried to joke around and play with him but he just sat there and bitched so i stopped talking to him again. Boy do I know how to ruin someone's day. So we were watching this show he gets up and doesn't say anything goes and starts to clean up. I figured that was my Que. so I went and was going to start cleaning the mess that is our room. Well the room beat me. I couldn't finish it. I don't know why but I see something that is a mess and I look at it after I started and I begin to think that there is to much to do and i can't finish. So I turn it back into a mess and clean off the bed to lay down and watch some tv.

Shane came in and we talked for like five minutes but that was it. I have been very emotional lately and don't know or care why to tell you the truth. So he went back out to do what ever it is he wanted to do. I fell asleep and when I woke up I thought we were all good. NOPE! I came out and he still won't talk to me. His fuck face friend told him that he wants to take him out next weekend so learning my lesson so I told him I am not going to say no to him any more. Well that gets me in shit too.. What do I need to do now. Just never talk to the man. How do I live like that. Fuck I don't even know if he still likes me.
UPDATE: It rained!!

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