Cat waxing!!

Yesterday I got to go home early before I had to pick Shane up from work. Sweet I thought I was going to be able to come home and relax. Nope. We are dog sitting and this dog who’s name is Max is so horny its not even funny. My parents have 4 dogs. Max has got the female pregnant three times now but he started when she was so young she hates him unless she is in heat. So Max can not be around her she will attack him and try to kill him. The first puppy they had is so jealous of max that he tries to kill him too. So to ease my parents every few weeks we take max and try to give him a little bit of freedom and time to roam around not being locked up all day. So I came home from work yesterday to find that Max couldn’t hold it and pooped on my carpet right where you fist step in the door. Well not when you fist step in I did have time to take my shoes off and step into the poop with fresh clean socks. Damn dog. If he wasn’t so cute I would have been mad. So before I could clean the poop off my sock and the floor the phone rings. Phone company. They didn’t receive my payment that I made two weeks ago. So I told them I made the payment gave them my reference number got that sorted out hung up and getting ready to clean up the now very stinky poop that max is now trying to eat. Phone rings again. Shane. We are not working until 8 any more. We are working until 7 so if you could come pick me up then that would be great. Fine. So I clean up the poop and threw away my sock because when I was on the phone he decided he had to pee too.

After all that was cleaned up and Max was sent out side I sat down and tried to watch some T.V. Now we have been having problems with our T.V. lately we have a bundle so everything is together and the T.V. is over our internet line. The box stopped working a month ago and it turned out we needed a new modem. So we got that changed and it has been fine since then. But when I want to watch something it doesn’t work. Bastard television box of shit. So I didn’t want to fuck with it so I went into the bedroom to watch some good old Simpsons. So before I went to watch the show I noticed that when we had a big fruit salad the night before for dessert we forgot to put the bowl away because were pigs like that. And my living room was full of fruit flies. I hate fruit flies so I got some of that sticky fly tape and put it in an old pop bottle on the table to catch the little bastards once and for all. Because you know they fly to fast to be vacuumed up. I have tried and I looked like a goof. (it was on the day that I stayed home sick and I wanted to clean up a bit but I swear the little buggers were everywhere and I couldn’t move fast enough. It was three in the afternoon and I was still in my PJ’s) Now we have three cats and our youngest one who is in heat (but max won’t go near her) decided that it looked like a cool new toy so she had to play with it. When we came home we found one of the pieces of tape on the couch and the other stuck to the back of my cats head. Being the mean mom that I am ( to my cats I have no babies yet) I yanked it off and gave her a bald spot. Its sad but very funny at the same time.
Now I started earlier that we are watching max and that he is super horny. This dog will hump anything he sees. I went to take the pop bottles out one day and walked threw the laundry room to find max in a corner with one of my fathers shirts all rolled up in a ball having his way with it. When he saw me he was scared and startled but didn’t skip a beat. He kept going until he was done. To this day my dad can’t have that shirt on with out max trying to mount him. Like I said before we have three cats. Two of them are female so I thought that max would be all over them. But he isn’t all he is interested in is my male cat who thinks he is the god father. This is real I tell you. When I lived at my parents house I had two of the cats there. With at the time three dogs. My cat was there when it was only max and our old female who wouldn’t do anything she was so timid. So Fez (shut up I love that 70’s show and it suits him well) was the king of the house and when the dogs would bother him he would take them to the top of our two step sunk in living room and literally put his arm around him and it looked like he was whispering in there ear. After that no one would bother him for a few weeks.