Shink Tube!!

I work with the funniest angry polish man ever. He is 57 and he has lived in Canada here for 20 years still can’t speak English. When I first met APM (angry polish man) I couldn’t understand a word he said. I thought he just came to Canada. I was wrong but I still couldn’t understand him. I started to speak broken English just so he would understand me. One day when I was only here for a month or two he came into the parts room and asked me for some shink tube. What the fuck. That’s all I could think.

APM: You got any shink tube?

Me: Pardon?

APM: Shink tube.

Me: Sorry what?

APM: SHINK TUBE!!!!!

Me: I don’t understand you are you speaking English?

APM: Of course I speak English you no understand? Shink tube.

Me: Guess not. Okay shink tube. What the fuck.

APM: What the Fuck (remember polish much funnier then English) you no understand shink tube. Shink tube. Shink tube. What the hell you looking at?

Me: I think you need to learn English you damn polish man.

APM: (storming into the parts room) Fuckin shink tube don’t know what it is. Fuck. Yeah yeah I don’t speak English.

Me: Show me this shink tube shit your talking about.

APM: (walking over to a shelf) SHINK TUBE!!

Me: Oh SHRINK TUBE. You’re an idiot learn English!!

That was how we first started really talking to each other. Before that I was just afraid to talk to him because I tend to make an ass out of myself when I talk to someone who doesn’t speak English. Now it is a big joke every time he comes into work. Everyone here thinks we hate each other when the see us talking. He will come up to my desk and yell at me “What the Fuck, did you get my shit” or just call me cheap like borsch because I won’t give him bulk of what he wants. But I totally have a non sexual crush on this man. I would so go out for coffee just so I could hear the shit that comes out of his mouth. I now call him my shink tube.